I did tell myself when I started writing this post that I wouldn't make it to long. I have had a few comments of "you sure do like to babble" and "don't your wrists hurt?", and I am fully aware that because I haven't entertained (questionable) you folk for a while that I might just bore you all to death, that your loved ones will come home and find you rocking in the corner just singing twinkle twinkle, so I will try and keep this short........ish !!! But the honest truth is, I do just like to talk, and talk, and talk, and most of the time it's not about much in particular, just about random crap that fills up my brain!! Oh oh oh, there was one thing that I did last week that all of you will be wanting to hear about..... my divorce. So I rang my lawyer (god that sounds way to weird) and told him that I was moving, now for you guys that remember me telling you before, talking to him was a traumatic experience, I know I like to talk but about personal emotional shit like that no, bringing it all back to the fore front of my mind was painful, memories I really wish to try and forget, but as I was saying I gave him a buzz blah blah and he told me that it was okay, that he would keep on my case but just try and fast track it for me !!! I was so pleased. I think he knew I really wouldn't want to have to sit there again with OTHER stranger and go over it all again, so the next day I wandered on down there and signed all my papers !!! Whoop! The moment I put down the pen I felt elated. Another chapter started kinda feeling. It was then all ruined but the fact that after texting the dick he turned up at my work. Now I don't know whether it was a coincidence but it was definitely a twatty thing to do! He then has the guts to ask me why I was doing this, to take him back, that he didn't remember doing those things, oh but then he did remember, he just didn't mean them. Seriously another smack in the teeth. Now it does hurt, it doesn't hurt because I still care for him, it hurts because he still cares for me..... how?? How can you stand in front of some one you apprantently love and still after a year tell them that it's their fault and you did nothing?? I literally couldn't believe it but just re affirms how happy I am to be out. When I left him I was 6 and a half stone, smoked 20 fags a day, in loads of debt, was basically just not me. Now nearly a year on, I've moved out, am nearly back to 8 stone, got over cancer, got a promotion at work, and have finally today paid off all my debt! Oh yeah and haven't smoked in nearly 5 months! But it was all me! Like I said to him it all boils down to the fact that we just didn't make eachother happy. I didn't give him what he wanted and he didn't give me what I wanted. That's it! And in that case sometimes love doesn't conquer all, you can't be with some one who doesn't make you happy no matter how much you love them or how much they love you, and after 7 years of still no compromise from us both, it was time to move on, I was just the only one that have the none literal balls to do it. And I know he will find some one who will make him happy, some one who will love him and do all the things he think is important in a relationship, things which are completely different to mine! And I am happy, actually I am the happiest !!! : )
Now on a very troubled note I must declare that I lost..... I lost at the runny run run runberston challenge thingy !! Yes I hear you all tut and shake your heads but I did, I lost and I lost badly it must be said. I bow my head in shame and defeat ! SO another challenge has started. The winner will be the person who has done the most Kilometres in 100 days. Thought this would then allow me to have a few bad times when my foot is screaming like a bitch so I can't run. So the challenge has been set and accepted ! If you are also a member of nike plus and want to take part in this message me and I will send you an invitation, but be prepared to die !!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Also I have a very large and painful bone to pick on you all....... sponsorship ???? Its 3 weeks today, holy fuck I just did that math myself.... yes, only 3 weeks until the Bath Half marathon and so far I have 2 sponsorships, one of those people I have only just met through my other half (my nike plus buddy, or foe I should say now) and the other is also a friend of the other half's of which I haven't even met. To be honest it just makes me sad..... I'll leave it at that, but be warned I know where you all live !!
Okay so on that note and having babbled now for way to long I will love you all and leave you, but I promise I will not leave it as long next time. For now I will leave for this.....
love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CLICK ON ME..... GO ON.... RUN YOUR CURSOR OVER ME AND PUSH IT...... http://www.justgiving.com/Beth-Marks
No comments:
Post a Comment